Bev is a resident at The Greens, in Sheffield.
Thursday 13th April 2017 – this is the day that my life began; the day I walked through the doors of the Greens with bags and suitcase at 2:04pm. The day I realised that my chaotic life and destructive addiction to alcohol had to become a thing of the past.
The day that my old self died and someone new was saved.
Struggling with binge drinking after experiencing a personal trauma in my life which was soul destroying, and taking approximately 25 overdoses over a 4 and a half year period, (almost succumbing to death several times in that period). I had reached a point in my life where I knew I had to change, or alcohol would have changed me, and not for the better.
I have been a resident now at the Greens for almost 5 months and I am making good progress in my recovery. A lot of that I feel is down to hard work, focus, the support, empathy and guidance of the staff and management team (who really do work as a team and do go the ‘extra mile’ when required), the other residents who also reside at the Greens, and mainly the determination to succeed in my recovery and the desire to get my life back. I am also a Christian with a strong faith in God and a real sense of hope in succeeding in my recovery. Although my recovery has been challenging at times, it hasn’t been an easy one. However, I have somehow managed to find an inner strength inside me that has kept me going: an inner strength that has surfaced at the most difficult times of my recovery. There is something fundamentally incredible about the human spirit, in its ability to bounce back and keep fighting when the going gets tough, when the odds are all stacked against us.
We may feel disillusioned, despondent and weak and it can be difficult to retain our focus and see light at the end of a dark tunnel. It has taken me around three months to appreciate that when I felt weak, useless, negative about myself, lacked confidence and was well out of my comfort zone, I was experiencing my own personal journey of recovery and realised that its actually OK to have days and feelings like these, because no matter what was happening around me, and inside my mind, I still had the most powerful force on earth inside me – faith.
I’m learning to recognise the triggers that occur in recovery, the triggers that make me feel I need to drink, but through regular weekly sessions with my very lovely and supportive keyworker (who knows me better than I know myself!), valuable and productive mandatory sessions / groupwork, and for me personally the added bonus of counselling on a weekly basis (who visit me here on site), I’m learning to challenge and change my addictive behaviour and am starting to love myself (which goes a very long way towards helping me in my recovery).
Being a resident at the Greens is slowly changing my life, a change that I now see and that is evident to others, and is making me into the person that I want to be, and I am beginning to reap the rewards of hard work, show determination and display a real willingness to change.
My future aim is to remain completely abstinent from alcohol, and the longer that I reside here and digest the material incorporated into the group work, liaise openly and honestly with my keyworker in keywork sessions, adhere to and comply with Humankind policies, plus stay focussed in my recovery, the stronger I will become in myself as an individual to succeed in reaching my target to completely and permanently eradicate alcohol from my life.
My name is Bev, I am 52 years old and for the first time in a long time I have a vision for my future – to be the very best I can be for myself every day and to live life to the full.
I have been given a second chance, not only by a higher force, but by the amazing opportunity to recover at the Greens whilst learning so much more about myself and finding inner peace. In my opinion, opportunities like this do not happen every day and I thank God daily that I’m here, I’m alive, and for that chance to start again in life. I never lose sight of the hope that is all around me – its hope that gives me the strength to do amazing things and to reach my full potential, and it the same hope that will be with you and get you through your journey of recovery, every step of the way.